Imagination can be deleterious to communication, but it can be also damaging to relationships in general. People require sensitivity and consistency, and if your notions are changing the way you relate to someone to the exclusion of aspects of their own life or personality, it can hurt people’s feelings and make them feel negated. Here’s an example:
Kahlo: I’ve decided that we need to spend more time together painting.
Rivera: You know that I have this commission to do this month. Can we talk about this later?
Kahlo: I’ve purchased special paints for us to use together and brushes we can share. It will be bonding.
Rivera: That sounds fine I suppose but I barely have enough time to finish this. I need to paint now.
Kahlo: You’re obsessed, Diego, and I love that about you but here, take this brush. We’re going to paint a beautiful mural in our dining room together. It will have reds and browns and all the colors we love. We will paint trunks and roots of the forest of our love together!
Rivera: Please leave me be, mi pajarito.
Kahlo’s loving idea may have been wonderful in a different context, but her husband was already stressed out by a commission and didn’t want casual painting interruptions.
Imagination isn’t always disastrous for relationships. It can also help them to flourish. It just needs to be used judiciously.
